My Personal Oubliette

The_Oubliette villians_wikia_comEach of us has a place where we push into hiding, something about ourselves. Here we place our skeletons, covet our gold pieces and label them ‘precious’; our personal Arkenstone. It is also our personal conflict of the inner sanctum of the Me. We become Smaug to our secrets and create that discord we hope no one will hear in our song; after all we must always show a proper face to the world. After time passes, we often forget these buried bits of self that is until we begin the alchemical process of becoming The Philosopher’s Stone.

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By this time, we have built an elaborate Labyrinth of twists and turns to hide these hidden gems, treasures of the deeper-self, now coated in masks of imagery so that we no longer recognize the core of the pearl we hold so dear in our eyes. Those grains of life-sand that so irritated, hurt, and shamed us, that caused discord in our life, now lie hidden by the opalescence of reflected light.

During some of my recent self-work, I reluctantly but still spiritually dumpster-dived into the depth of my arcane past, found some forgotten parts-of-the-self. I encountered in my oubliette, a French word for where we put things to forget, and found things I believed no longer existed and was unwilling to accept as belonging to the woman I have become; because one of the hardest things to embrace is our frailties, our errors and our mistruths.

your-shadow ardentlight_comAs we each delve deeper into ourselves, we not only heal the you of You, but the collective consciousness of the life-experience you have lived up to now. For those that embrace past-life experience, what we have been carrying along as inner wisdom, can be in truth our inner errors; false gold and fake pearls we call treasures. Those past lives that seem so cool and exciting to discover, may in truth be the gained wisdom of our missteps, results of unspeakable choices and painful experiences.

In order to continue our quest for our personal holy-Grael, we soon learn that we must change the world from the inside, to ‘be the change we wish to see.’ It has taken years and life-times to build my treasure kingdom, and it has been a painful yet rewarding experience to open each closet to remove those skeletons, sweep the cobwebs and let in the light of understanding. Each hidden realm and dungeon I encounter a dragon that hordes, an oubliette that seems empty until I shine my light to find tattered tales, false beliefs, masks of misperceptions and least expected, that which causes my deepest fear, my fallibility. Here is where I found my connection to all is no different than any other Mystical_lovers_journey tumblr red-blood-pathwaybeing, we are all one great light of presence, already connected to the whole I call Source. And that my life experience is just that, an experience; a role my Soul chose for this life experience. Each person is another way to be me, for in truth, many of you are experiencing roles I have already experienced, albeit I did it my way, through my own method of experience. And my fears are the amalgamation of all that society, culture, family and peers have imprinted upon my memory from their own suffering and sorrows; misery loves company, after all.

So, as I continue to open closets, raise my lantern to the level of my eye and I walk from one dungeon to the next and peer into each oubliette, I challenge my Soul to reveal each hidden bauble of falsity and fear I have hidden deep within so that I face my shadow, shine my light, and expand my presence. To be the Philosopher’s Stone requires patience with the alchemical process, willingness to surrender to truth, and no longer hold precious the masks we wear for our life-experience role. It is our Soul that set the stage, wrote the play, and continues to direct the story; that is if we are willing to surrender to the bigger picture instead of the line-by-line details our ego craves to act upon the stage it sees.

May you find your personal oubliettes, shine your light bright, face your shadows and embrace your role with the gusto your Soul hired you to play.


When Trees Fall – Life Cycles

Embracing Life’s Cycles Through Dryadic Wisdom

Last wAfternoon Tree Shadoweek I released from my life, a former partner of 20 years. He was one of those people that filled space with his eclectic presence while sharing darting glimpses of an impish nature. Although we differed in taste of a variety of things, we did share a unique perspective of life; it’s bigger than you experience, while small in your mind. Our life experience is where we gather the bricks we lay to define our perspective, to limit interaction, and create the windows and doors for future experience.

As I reminisce over events passed, determine the destiny of possessions no longer needed, I see the culmination of an individual’s evolution of philosophy, expressions and dreams. Spread throughout a realm of personal domain, books, music, art and day-to-day living provides a macrocosmic viewing of a person. And yet, each piece offers a microcosmic viewing of the individual inside themselves.

The process of cathartic release through cleaning and clearing of once prized possessions, has brought to my attention, the way I gather and collect the ‘things’ of my mind’s desirous habits; my music, art, foods and belongings; all things to adorn my castle of being. And I have begun to question the truth of my choices. Not a judgement of its beauty, but of my intention for obtainment. Why this? Why that?

One of the great lessons of living and walking on our Celestial Mother’s belly, is to remember that ourFern Growth on Tree organic avatar, the form we wonder about in – that truthfully belongs to her – isn’t the one that collects, gathers and possesses anything; it is our mind-personality. Our body could care less about that Andy Warhol poster, Sprig-green wall color, or the style of furniture and fixtures we proudly show to friends and family. It has no concept of whether this food is trendy, tastes good or looks nice; again it is the mind-personality that discerns. For somewhere at some time, we experienced something, gave it value and gathered into our realm of living.

Our mind, divinely woven into a three pound collective of cellular weaving and winding, is divided into two halves joined with a dance hall in between. Here is where we learn to merge the dance steps with the feeling of dancing; the form with function, the linear with organic. It is the library of our life, carefully catalogued into various sections and departments, an on-demand system for the personality to reach into at a moment’s notice to respond and discern the ‘what happens next’ part of our life. Our fiber-optic network which we rely upon for lightning-fast response, streams as much as possible and as fast as possible, all sensory input associated with the summoning issued. Problem is if the file is empty it, grabs the next option available, leaving us with a bewildered expression.

Tree Rings wit MossHis passing also brings into focus the cycles of our life. We are born into freedom and it slowly recedes from us through that pavlovian process we acquiesce into from preschool onward. If we are lucky, if our friends and family allow our individuality to freely expand and express, we grow wings of empowerment and soar to our Soul’s content.

Tonight is a night of tarot, where I meet my adopted family on the earth-realm, and embrace the spiritual family of my past life connections. While we divine and intuit through the cards, I wonder if he will share his reclaimed freedom and offer insights from the realm of Source’s mansions and gardens. Will I see the major arcana of Death/Rebirth? Or will the Priestess appear showing a return straight up the Tree-of-Life back to Source? Will one of the minor arcana appear such as two-wands, mastery of personal domain, or an archetype such as one of the Thoth Princes showing Tiphareth is his destination and return to that Buddha, Christ, Zen energy of the Solar Son presence. Either way, I am excited to see the outcome; to use the cards as a tool to learn more, experience deeper, and celebrate that joyous cycle of returning to the IAM before returning back for a new ME.Sun Rays thru Trees

So, to all who are walking through transition, are helping those in transition or consider what the winter of life holds, worry not my friend…here is some dryadic wisdom to help.

We are the human trees that walk the Earth, and as such we they are kindred souls of the four
elements; we are of the fifth. In the Epic of Gilgamesh, Enlil referred to trees as ‘divine beings’ for they are as close to holding a soul as the Natural Order can conceive. We are the Solar presence of the human-tree; four forces using the four elements for expression, powered by the Sun of the Son of Source. We are the Sons and Daughters of the Cosmos, also divine beings.

So remember….

  • All seeds carry the unabridged blueprint from time immemorial, so do you through your genetic material and more importantly your Akashic records ~
  • All saplings reach for the sun, embrace the moon, dance in the wind, and weather storms, they are built for living, so are you, you just might have forgotten how powerful and wondrous you are ~
  • A tree or forest does not compete with itself or each other, they weave and reweave for stability and continuity, so can you be the master-weaver of your life-fabric of expression ~
  • Trees honor their presence through the lust to express, without question, without worry, the final outcome is the gift they share when they release, so know you die daily and rebirth in each morning – a new day of potential presence ~
  • When a tree falls, they actually surrender to the Great Mother, it is a celebration and all of its knowing, recorded in the cellular structure of its heartwood, is released into the archives of the grand matrix of Earth, so will you share your archived experience with Source and the grand matrix of the Hue-Man forest ~
  • All trees are connected through the network of expressive presence, they do not understand separation, only connection, so remember, none of us are alone, ever; your Soul will never abandon you – sing to it, dance with it, wake it up and shout IAM together!

Grace Sequoia ~

Dryad of the Mother Tree, now in the Hue-Man Tree of Life

IAM – Au Courant

IAM Au Courant photo source: (see also –

Some meditations bring questions,  some answers,

or, this morning, while sitting under twin-cedars, this.

I call this post Au Courant.

What would you call it, and why? 


Scene: 7:17am, 67 degrees,

beneath two 50-year-old Cedar trees named “The Sisters”

I breath in…out…I breath in…and out…

a movie begins to play

and the narration is this ~

There is nothing; a nothing that holds place. A dark thick matter poised as if held without purpose, all potential, unrealized. And as an outer lid opens, there is yet an inner lid that remains shut; yet ready, at any moment, for any moment, a moment. Then something is felt, the inner lid opens and an awareness is present, the question: I AM.

For a brief moment, the awareness waits for something, anything, to appear in response, yet nothing returns the ping of I AM. And in that moment, the nothing shifts into multitudes of expression, and ‘I AM’ is expressed outward in all directions turning to see its self. And it responds with I AM Many Expressions, ME. And it begins to explore each expression, simultaneously, in loving joy and wonder, bestowing upon itself a promise to continue expressing till all ME’s are exhausted. Each ME expressing over and over again, moving in and out of itself, evolving into fractals of connections upon connections.

The First IAM that becomes the First Source of presence, in love with itself, in wonder and joy, exploring and learning through the first-question:     


 Grace Sequoia LeFae’

The Dance of Light on Water~

Light is amazing. It illuminates the unseen, comforts us when in shadow. It prisms into a magnificence of colors. It twinkles in constellations across distances of space. And it dances on water.

While traveling across water via a Ferry, I watched the continual reflections of the sun light on the soft ripples of the water. I was mesmerized by its solid and rolling feel, and yet, the light lifted it and made the motions like a dance of movement. I was lost in a moment of time. And I thought about how we scurry around our day and night, tethered by devices and schedules. Obligations whether real or perceived, dictating the time we have to stop and notice simple things – like sun light dancing on water.

Most of us will notice and say, ah…how nice. And then we turn and focus on the next thing that our mind has determined important. I think we are all the lights that dance on the water. The shifting, rolling, movement from one ripple to another and inter-playing with each other. The water supports us, lifts and drops us to allow the myriad of shapes and brightness of reflections created. In the sea of life, we the dancing light, create collectively the pictures, moment by moment; part of the whole and yet individual. What do you see? ~ Grace LeFae’