Stepping Up Feels Like…

At some point in our career, we begin to realize that we are far from where we started and yet so much more is possible. The ongoing shifts and changes of the expansion or our human consciousness has continually brought a barrage of awareness to my inner world. I am continually amazed as I watch people waking up to their greater potential, realizing that they are so much more than what they have been taught, nay trained, to believe. And for the changing tide to include those who have been marginalized for their independence of self, and for showing us how freeing it is to be, well, our Self.

I think the hardest part for me has been to not stop doing the inner work; to remove my own masks instead of others. In the past year I have realized the losses as well as the gains. I have reclaimed and disclaimed parts of myself or the stories I tell myself. I have released the past and welcomed the unknown future. But over all, I have gained the awareness of what Gandhi and all the other great philosophers and teachers have reiterated over time, and that is: to change myself is to change the world. And sometimes that when we do so, we step up to the tasks at hand even though it feels like we are taking a step back or down. Because when we do, we allow others to fill in the space we held, to shine up front and hold that special feeling while we become the solid ground.

Over the years I have purchased and read through a library of esoteric knowledge, both historical, theoretical and contemporary. Books, essays and texts written by diverse authors and artists who like myself are daring to dive into the realms of shadow and light all the while stumbling through the labyrinths of the inner realm to peel back the layers to get to one’s inner truth. Not the truth of this life, but that deep question of what is the Soul and why does it want to be me?

One never knows at what point in the process that the final deep-spiritual-dumpster-dive takes place. When that dark night of the soul occurs. But when it does, everything that was is finally peeled away leaving just the spark of what began, the eye of Source seeing itself as You. It’s hard to describe because it is different for each of us. But I can tell you that you will know it when it hits. You find out that you don’t really care about, well, things. My realization was that I am the glove the Soul is wearing to write its experience, an avatar, a proxy. This body, albeit a temple or house for the Soul, is what allows the Soul to move, taste, touch, feel, and play in the great organic realm we call our Universe. Whether I read cards at fair, dance skyclad in the moonlight, or offer intuitive healing, I do so for the personal-reality of the Soul. I walk forward aware there is a past but only the present matters. The future is written today, so make sure I Am Today and the future will birth from there.

There is definitely a period of re-connecting to the life you temporarily stepped away from and then returned. For me, I’ve let go my competitive edge, my delight to have a front table and my goal to write books, speak at conferences and create tarot decks. Instead I comfortably find myself feeling great joy in helping others to aspire to higher heights, to welcome their own intuitive gifts and release the binding cords of indoctrination and named descriptions. Just like welcoming my graying hair, oddly adjusting weight and waist, and the emergence of laugh-lines, I welcome stepping up to the plate to share my lessons-learned and hold space for others to expand and reach for the stars of their personal heavens. For I lose nothing in doing so, but instead gain everything.

One of my favorite memories of when I was younger, was to meet an older gentlemen who lived at and offered guided trail walks and talks in Yosemite Park. He must have been in his eighties at the time and was an honorary ranger. He lived there in a small cabin with minimal furnishings. But in his eyes was the world and the smile of life. In the short time I listened and shook his hand, I felt deep inside that here was a man who had so little in his cabin, but the universe showed in the sparkle of his eyes. His presence was so peaceful that it mesmerized me, and told me that he saw so much more than any words could describe. I have always aspired to be that person; to shine from within with an inner-peace, that knowing, a presence of place. This is what I see as stepping up. Because our presence is enough to shift anything.

And so I close this writing with these thoughts and questions: What would stepping up feel like to you? What are you willing to release to gain? How deep are you willing to go to Know Thyself?

Grace

 

 

 

The Giving of Thanks, Includes For-Giving

This is the first holiday without family and friends. The loss of a lover last year and the anniversary of my mom’s passing has brought me to this moment of realization; thankfulness and forgiveness.

Each of us experiences during the year the wondrous giving from friends, family and even strangers. You know, that much-needed smile from the grocery clerk, the playful wink from the barista, the gift of a free coffee from someone you don’t know for up-righting the latte stand’s sign. All of these events fill me up with a connectedness to my fellow beings. And yesterday, in the pet food store, I turned to see a wiry-haired pup share a canine smile. We are surrounded by reasons to receive and accept the thanks for being in the universe as well as those that we share for and with others. But this is also a time for a giving we often forget; For-Giving.

Throughout the year we are transgressed upon and transgress on others; the Earth and our cohabitants, you know those human and non-human. When we are feeling unthankful, we shun or turn our backs; we back-give our presence. To for-give is to turn around and show face, to forward give our presence. This is the gift our pioneers received during their traverse across this continent from those that had built a life and knowing of the land; the Indigenous. The first meal of shared food and insights offered new hope and carried them forward into the next seasonal cycle.

It is important that we appreciate all that the year has given us; both the highs and the lows. For this is how we see the journey and archive the learned skill-sets we have gained. This is how we met strangers, learned to trust the inner compass more, or even discovered that we are built for tougher seas than ever imagined. 

The upcoming shifts and changes that are the confirmation of the next phase of the universe spiraling ever forward and upward, will bring highs and lows. Now is the time to look back and thank that barista, grocery clerk, to toast all those that rescued those in need, whether human or not.

Now is the time to be thankful we live in a time of people reaching out to help each other across the expanses of land and sea. Now is a time to review our past transgressions to others as well as those received and ‘for-give’. Now is the time to cease the judgement, release them from the imagined mental and emotional prisons we placed them in thinking that this would resolve our pain and sorrow. Now is the time to realize that it takes all of us to heal and uplift all of us. Each of us by forgiving and thanking both ourselves, our friends, our families and those strangers that we don’t understand their actions or pain, is the amazing magic of an ancient prayer called Hooponopono, when we do it with love and without judgement. For love is what allows us to evolve.

It’s good to share food and time with each other. It is wonderful to be thankful that loved ones that were overseas are able to return home. For when one of us suffers, we all suffer. We are all connected by that great spiral of growth and expansion gift us by Source. And it is this connection that we can ripple our intentions to heal, help, and hinder; it’s up to each of us to hold awareness of our actions.

So as you gather, and prepare to hunt-and-gather (that predator shopping ritual), remember that this annual event is one of the closing events of the year; when we give thanks for what we received. But lets complete the circle to add for-give, to turn, turn, turn around and give-thanks forward again to ourselves and others. It breaks the karmic tension, turns the wheel of fortune, and opens our hearts to love again, heal again and receive again. For when we shun each other, we cannot receive from each other. Now is the time to be full-of-thanks, for all, by all, and in hope and love.

Photo: Google Images
Sodahead.com/Gaia

I thank you for reading this blog over the past year.

I thank those that bypassed it for others.

And I thank the internet for challenging my efforts to share, yet continuing to be here that I may share.

Grace Sequoia ~ A Wild Dryad, In Service to Spirit

IAM – Au Courant

IAM Au Courant photo source: http://www.lauragraceweldon.com (see also – shortgreenpigg.deviantart.com)

Some meditations bring questions,  some answers,

or, this morning, while sitting under twin-cedars, this.

I call this post Au Courant.

What would you call it, and why? 

 

Scene: 7:17am, 67 degrees,

beneath two 50-year-old Cedar trees named “The Sisters”

I breath in…out…I breath in…and out…

a movie begins to play

and the narration is this ~

There is nothing; a nothing that holds place. A dark thick matter poised as if held without purpose, all potential, unrealized. And as an outer lid opens, there is yet an inner lid that remains shut; yet ready, at any moment, for any moment, a moment. Then something is felt, the inner lid opens and an awareness is present, the question: I AM.

For a brief moment, the awareness waits for something, anything, to appear in response, yet nothing returns the ping of I AM. And in that moment, the nothing shifts into multitudes of expression, and ‘I AM’ is expressed outward in all directions turning to see its self. And it responds with I AM Many Expressions, ME. And it begins to explore each expression, simultaneously, in loving joy and wonder, bestowing upon itself a promise to continue expressing till all ME’s are exhausted. Each ME expressing over and over again, moving in and out of itself, evolving into fractals of connections upon connections.

The First IAM that becomes the First Source of presence, in love with itself, in wonder and joy, exploring and learning through the first-question:     

I AM…

 Grace Sequoia LeFae’

Calling All Cosmic Mariners

From: Upaya.org

The Age of Horus; the next age of awareness and termed the New Age. From fairs, to conferences, book stores to web pages, the past decade plus has resulted in a sea of options, beliefs, institutions and schools. As a result many of you have delved deeply into your selves, cleaned house and lifted your vibrations to include that positive approach that flows and allows for greater manifestation of abundance. But some of you have been caught up in the process and lost site of the purpose of your gifted focus and thus the application thereof. The time is fast approaching when the final shifts of time and space begin to come closer to each other, and thus, the dynamics of shift will be more evident around us.

 

At first all the changes we experienced were gradual and at a less intense expression. Now, time is speeding up, the cosmic sea of change is fast approaching a tempest of movement to complete the journey charted at the beginning of our cyclic life here on the great celestial being we call Mother Earth. Even she is undergoing her final trimester of rebirth. For you familiar with Tarot, The Tower card is in full expression. And all of life is in full shift, including the great mother, Earth. We feel her heaving breaths, her labor pains, and her mood changes as she prepares to complete her cycle. And it is important that each of us become a midwife to each other’s rebirthing as well as our planet. In this way, we become aware that we as the microcosmic are as much a part of the macrocosmic of the universe and the powerful impact of our presence. We truly are quintessential beings operating on many levels.

 

We may be fractals of material expression, but there is no atomic separation between the cells in our bodies any more than we are separate from the universe we journey through. Together, we collectively enhance and augment what is, as well as destruct and take from what is. Our collective presence is part and parcel to what drives the speed at which we all travel. Some are along for the ride, kicking and screaming at the speed of change. Others willingly and almost daringly lean into the wind. But many of us have settled down into our comfy placement, repeatedly following a routine. We accept that change is inevitable, but we are not fully in its participation. But are we…for apathy in all its claimed anonymity, is still an energy; albeit one of stagnation. So we often find ourselves at an impasse, wondering why we are still in one place when our thoughts and dreams are far ahead.

 

Remember, dreams are nothing but energy without motion, they are ideas, and concepts but without the fuel to ‘be’. It is the passion, that fiery ‘lust to be’ that moves mountains of complacency and habit. This is the great work. This is the edge of the Abyss that we lean into without fear or the expectation of result. We must be the change we wish to see, and allow the greater universe, the ‘I AM’ of the Universe, determine the final result. We may be the pen-point that writes the verse, but the ink is the ‘energy that ever was and will ever be, neither created nor destroyed, only transforming.’ And continually transform we must.

 

Right now the world teeters on the edge of shift. The winds of change are beginning to pick-up and each of us is trying to figure out how best to navigate these swells of inner awareness. It is not enough to baton down the hatches and ride it out, this involves our singular AND our collective consciousness to calm the sea around ourselves so that the ‘all’ we experience is as a whole; strong, focused, and with purpose of reaching a new shore of ‘ourselves’…our personal promised land.

 

The best mariners will tell you that it isn’t that gadgets that keep you safe, or focused or knowledgeable. It is the depth of connection to the ‘all that is’ that intuits to you the shifts and changes of the sea. Mariners of the old paths could read the ripples of a breeze on the water, the currents’ flow, and chart by the stars and weather patterns. Without technology and manuals of rites and passage, they charted and adjusted when necessary and remained undaunted by the dynamics of the ever changing world around them. They were undefined by their surroundings, and yet clear about themselves. This is how we need to approach our current journey. All the life experience to date has been to prepare each of us for the final sailing into new waters. Many of us have reconnected to the older ways of awareness and willingly sharing our talents of mariner-craft.

 

Our children are being born with natural navigational charts built deep within, attuned to the currents, tides, weather patterns and sky-charts. They struggle to stay anchored according to the ages of passed down theatrics and belief systems of sailing, and cry out for freedom to sail as they were divinely designed. Keep them safe and sequestered from the desire to tame the truth of their being for they are the next mariners.

 

As we continue forward into the days and months of our cosmic journey, take time to hold each other’s hand, look deeply into each other’s eyes and connect from the heart of understanding, non-judgmental and with honest acceptance. Offer insight when asked, and distance when not, as each of us run through our check-lists of preparations and continued cyclic lessons. We must not deny the consequences of a person’s choices, but we can be ready to hold out a hand when asked. And always express from your being the love that is the total energy of the universe. It is the construct of our being that was thrust forth in expression when the first source became aware of its presence, and shouted across the void ‘I AM’. And now each of us can equivocally state our own ‘I AM ME’. Each of us a Solar-El (soul), a Sun of the first Sun of divine and holy light. Claim your inheritance and sail forth in the joy of who you are, and collectively in the positivity of being. There is no other frequency like you. No other combination of light that shines forth as you do. Honor your journey and you honor others. Together we sail into the New World, mariners of the spirit, and collectively the chosen children of the great Source how birthed us to experience alongside us eternally.

 

May your Polar Star guide you from within,

       Grace LeFae’

The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating Grass

Today I finished reading a short, but wonderful book titled, “The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating“, by Elisabeth Tova Bailey. I’m not going to retell the story, but I will tell you this, it’s an amazing and honest journey of a woman’s ability to move forward in her life, aided by her observations of the small snail living in a pot of violets at her bedside. It sounds simple, but the most simple things in life can become the most moving and life changing if we truthfully open ourselves to them.

Which brings me to today’s post. Most of us move about the planet under a set of required tasks, expected events and self-imposed routines. And each day we make choices that steer out boats about the cosmic sea according to our whims and wishes. Sometimes, life brings a storm that causes us to stop a moment and re-examine our lives and what we have placed value on and what we have set aside. But most of us have few interruptions that forces us to rewrite our course to stay or change.

The wild snail in the book is very adaptable. It does what it needs to survive with little thought on the why and where of the cause; only that a change is required. Humans on the other hand, we love to expound on the why and share theories of what should have happened, could have happened, and then…what if; but not necessarily to make a change. We do love to advise though. Even if we have nary an understanding of the source of the situation, but we have great imagination and thus, we can create a solution. Which is why it is such a trial and error life. I digress. My point is if a snail can not be worked up over being moved to a new location, with no idea for food and sustenance and yet, and yet, manage to figure it out without drama, why can’t we?
Meditation, praying, retreats and moments of reclusiveness all have one thing in common; a chance to be quiet. To still the mind, to become mind-less. This is what the book brought to my attention. To hear a wild snail eating, can’t happen with the television or radio on. It can’t happen with an iPod or cell phone in use. It happens when we slow down long enough for the outside world to be heard in the subtle layers of sound and movement. It’s amazing when you think about it. So my challenge to you is, if you had a chance to slow down long enough to hear something so subtle as a snail eating, what would you listen for? And how long would you be willing to wait, to let all the chatter cease to be able to hear it? Think about it. I did. ~ Grace